degrassikid: cyberdepressed: if u ever feel bad about urself just think about the people who use their selfies as their lock screen or wallpaper my friend’s iphone was stolen from starbucks and she literally found it because the lockscreen was a selfie of her and the person couldn’t explain why they had her selfie as their lockscreen photo
straightgirl: you’d think at 32 years old ryan gosling would be ryan goose by now
writingsforwinter: starksexual: i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it i’m sobbing
grunkfield: im crying bc i just read an article saying that bieber literally called his manager at 3 am to say he decided that it should be spelled swaggy instead of swaggie
too-stoned-to-remember: Why do dogs go mental when they see another dog I imagine that in their heads they’re like THAT IS DOG I AM DOG DOG DOG DOG DOG DOG DOG
When my brother's in the shower...
-waiting for brother to get out of the shower-
-hears him singing-
me: will you quit singing?
me: QUIT SINGING. IT'S LAME
brother: WHEN I'M IN THE SHOWER, TWO THINGS GET TO BE FREE
brother: MY BALLS
brother: AND MY SOUL
burgrs: pitycomes2late: burgrs: when ur at ur friends house helping them put away the dishes *you’re *your
Dear Coquette: On vague existential threats →
dearcoquette: Every once and a while I feel this intense fear knowing the state of our environment and the imminent carbon fueled suffocation of the human race. I feel this intense sense of foreboding when I think about the future. We’re all driving our Co2 spouting automobiles headfirst in to the apocalyptic…
worldfamousprofessor: spelling bee moderator: contestant 142, your word is “fergalicious” contestant: *looks around nervously* um… could i please have a definition? moderator: *flips through dictionary* “fergalicious. definition: make them boys go loco.”
newpac: when people say “present” instead of here during attendance
hopewillneverbesilent: westbor0baptistchurch: MLK’s “I Have A Dream Speech”, the Moon Landing, Walter Cronkite reporting the assassination of John F. Kennedy, all pale in comparison to this truly unforgettable moment on television. Oh my god HAHAHAHAH I REMEMBER THIS EPISODE HAHHAHAHAHA WHAT HTE HELL IS IN THAT PURSE THAT IT’S SO HARD TO WIELD.
surejohn221b: that-kid-from-london: oprahwinfried: chickiefingie: the fact that you can’t highlight words that you accidentally caps locked and hit Caps Lock to get them lowercase is the reason i can’t sleep at night except that you can do that then press shift + F3 congratulations WHY DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS THIS IS GROUNDBREAKING INFORMATION
lameborghini: 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner is not to be trusted
youkillmypatience: vvwvvwvvwvvwvvw: It’s like you can’t have a friend of the opposite gender without the entire galaxy asking if you’re dating how do you remember your url
happyfatprincess: okayophelia: tacticalnymphomania: nellachronism: loveforalia: You know you had a Catholic upbringing when somebody says “May the force be with you” and your instant reaction is to reply with “And also with you”. Lift up your lightsabers. We lift them up to the lord. Let us give thanks to the Force our guide. It is right to give the Force thanks and praise. ...
vagisodium: one time me and my friends were really high waiting at a stop sign and after like ten minutes he turns to me and he’s like “this is the longest stop sign ever”
Don’t even get me started on ‘spirituality’ - it’s fucking bullshit. You lived a...– (via tentaclesandteacups)
theoncomingstormofgallifrey: such-a-retardis: catswithbenefits: why ride a rollercoaster when you can ride me Because rollercoasters can actually make me scream.